all things come full circle ~

i start this entry off.. as i should end it. I suppose. i often find myself floundering through life hoping for the best and refusing to believe the worst. in well. everything. however, that being said.. everything comes full circle. I suppose.

a few weeks back, i added a friend on fb that made a very intelligent post that made me laugh. fact being that this post was made by a female, i was intrigued. not long after the friend req, i found myself being hounded after. every post i made on FB was followed by 2 of hers. in her witty ways. soon i found that i was recieving txt msg's. at all hours of the day/night. from said poster. oddly enuff she found my number from FB. then commenced the harrassment. we're talking PAGES of texts. PAGES. daily. now, being me, and knowing me. i felt i could at the time handle such attention in a very passive way to diffuse the situation. I.E.; respondly kindly but shortly in said txt messaging. always encourage her to date other men in her life. I even told her about a girl i was 'talking' to in FL at the time. and told her i was really into her. which i was at the time. now after i got back from a backpacking trip, to my surprise, said FL girl was already dating another guy. now.. this is where i get shady. because the stalker girl kept harrassing me, i kept talking about said FL girl. even tho i stopped talking to her completely because she'd chosen to date another guy down there. now i've tried hinting, and ignoring. and i truly feel that given enough time said stalker will leave me alone. i hope. but that's the way i've chosen to deal with the situation instead of being up front and rude. or blunt. i don't believe in such ways. however more effective they are. but... that's being me and knowing me. now this precursor is neccesary to understanding the full circle. we jump to chapter 2 in this saga...

A few months ago i met a girl that i knew was a little different but.. i had NO idea HOW different she was. physically speaking i was attracted, but then again.. being me.. knowing me.. i'm attracted to ALOT of girls. and thought nothing of it. now getting to know her a little better.. i've come to realize that this girl is actually very special. her mind. dont. work. like. normal. that blows me away. the thought that there is a girl out there that could be as weird as me, yet can keep her sincerity, destroys my head. now i'm not about to write a bunch of meandering love descriptions and poetic heart touching nonsense, however i had to at least be fair to the reader of this to let u know why i started trying to pursue her to begin with. qualities like this in girls are rare to me. i don't meet them often. the end. such begins my 'pursuit'. now knowing me and being me you'd understand how i pursue. it starts with absolute bizzarre text messages. usually whatever pops into my head at the very second i'm texting. i try to just get my weirdness out of the way as soon as possible. and try to take people out of their shell in the meantime. at the time i first started messaging her i was real big on apologizing for nothing at all. and making up huge confrontations over trivial matters because i thought it was funny. IE i had a show in dallas one weekend and for some reason thought it'd be cool to wear a LA dodgers hat on TV. so the texting at the mall commenced "Surely i hope it's ok with you that i'm buying an LA dodgers hat".. now because she doesn't know me that well she responds.. "why would i care if u buy a dodgers hat?" then respond "I hate when we fight, will you please stop raising your voice at me?"... now.. that was just a faze i was in at the time, because i thought it was funny. apparently it isn't really funny unless u know me well. or maybe it's never funny to anyone but me. but my 'game' wasn't really impressive to her. that's when i think i started to really like her. because she was hard to attract. so ever since then i've found myself texting her.. messaging her on FB.. attempting to chat as much as possible.. however she has remained completely disengaged and never will be the first to text me, but she has been pleasant. now it's occured to me today, that.. if i never texted her.. or called her.. or attempted to communicate with her again, that i'd never hear from her. she'd end up a memory.

now i'm not cocky enough to think that every girl i like should like me back. and i'm not stupid enough to believe that it's impossible for someone to be someone's "TYPE" and it remain non mutual. however i AM stupid enough to believe that this situation is COMPLETELY different from the girl that's stalking me. until tonight. like i said, all things come full circle. I suppose. i often find myself floundering through life hoping for the best and refusing to believe the worst. in well. everything. however, that being said.. everything comes full circle. I suppose.

MYDDW.