as i ride the wings of failure

ok this is even more pathetic to admit.. but i hit some extreme lows in life lately.. even to the point where i forgot how to log in to this blog.. but.. extreme emotional pressure has sparked my memory.. and now i'm back. and full of failure to report. now.. as i ride the wings of failure.. i shall recap some of the weird events that have happened to me recently. in brief summation. if i can possibly do that.

Dinner with a Retard-

so i'm the middle of no where west virginia a few weeks ago.. and there's nothing open past 9 there except an applebees.. so i stroll in and sit at the bar. doesn't take long for me to notice errethang around me.. and i glance upon this younger man dressed in skinny red sweat pants .. a pearl snap dress shirt.. and a hunting fur cap. now usually i dig hipster style.. and either this kid was hipster to the nth degree.. or someone with downs. happens to be he was the latter. anyways.. i'm sittin at the bar and behind me is a table full of doosh. folded bill caps.. sweater vest northface thingy's.. etcetc.. anyways the retard is being kinda loud and saying some off the wall stuff.. and apparently the bullys were getting a huge kick out of it. they start mocking him.. openly asking him retarded questions.. just being total dooooooooooshes. SO. me being me decided it was a great time to become friends with this retard.. and defend him against the onslaught.. that girl i absolutely totally fell for recently was still on my head constantly.. and she basically doesn't like me at all.. so honestly i was real prickly anyswayz at this point. wouldn't have minded a lil confrontation. i grab my beer and walk over to the retards table and ask to sit down with him. we then get into about a 12 minute arguement over whether or not jar jar binks should have been in star wars or not.. my food comes.. i try to talk about something else.. really attempting to treat this kid well and respectfully. cuz mainly i hated those dooshes behind me and was just waiting for them to say something. after about 2 minutes.. the retard gets bored of ME. starts IGNORING ME. then gets up.. wishes everyone safe travels home from the bar.. and not to get kidnapped by alligators. SO NOW I'M ALONE. and the only thought that runs through my head is.. if i can't even keep a down syndrome retard from west virginia entertained.. how the fun could i ever make denna like me back?? this was a low for me. a real low. myddw.